elegy to kathak - NaPoWriMo #4

i remember moving 
in my mind 
as if it was just yesterday,
but my limbs seem to stutter
as i begin to utter the prayers.

there is a rift between
my words and my feet,
like a curtain 
between the felt and the seen.

i want to write an elegy 
to the way my feet knew 
just how loudly they must land
to match the beating of my heart.

i want to write an elegy
to the unspoken oath my back took
to never let me look like i was let down - 
to always curve and arch like
the weight of the world wasn't on my shoulders
at least for an hour. 

i want to write an elegy
to the wonders that my hands created,
an assortment of fury, love, shame, and passion - 
hypnotic
in the way they followed the music.

i remember breathing in dance
like it was the only air
in a sea full of fear and despair.
i remember feeling the floor change
into a sentient being,
giving me strength and joy as i moved. 

there is a rift between 
what my body remembers,
and what my mind wants to remember.
i can only hope 
that i don't have to write an elegy
again.